Bend it Like...Knowles?

Angus is currently in his second soccer season. He has a friend on the team whom he just adores, and that's pretty much why he's so excited to play this year (we'll call her MO). Angus and MO have had playdates many times in the past, which is why they're practically inseperable on the field...it's very cute! What's not so cute is Angus' lack of focus on the field...he gets to the games and sometimes will lie on the field making grass angels, admiring the planes as they fly overhead, or checking the sidelines ensuring that his cheering squad are present and accounted for (and depending on what's in the water bottle...a quick drink). But wait. I had the same complaints last year. And in swimming. And in music...and, maybe the problem is me? Am I expecting too much from my "big" boy who will only be turning 5 this fall? Is it crazy that there are organized sports/activities for children in this age group (as opposed to pick-up games in the neighbourhood)?

I was talking to my Mum about it a while back, telling her that I don't remember having to repeat swimming levels, or not having any focus at my earliest cross-country or swim meets. She met that with a quick, "Well, of course not! I didn't put you in swimming until you were 7 or 8, and you didn't start running until you were 8 or 9!" What?! What in the heck did I do with my spare time until age 7 or 8?? "We went to the cottage...you played with kids in the complex, you rode your bike, and we visited family." What? That's it?!?! Didn't she want me to have the 'best' start in life?? "In the early 80s, parents didn't schedule every minute of their kids' spare time...and the extra-curricular activities that were available just weren't in our budget. Kids played mostly." Hmmm...

I got to thinking, what did happen to the neighbourhood pick-up games? A step further: To the neighbourhood communities where you really didn't worry too much about where your kids were because they'd be home for food/before dark/inevitably be at a neighbour's house? I can honestly say that we're not overly social with our neighbours...the lots are just large enough that you really don't see too many people, and when you do, it would be a yelling match trying to hear one another.

This past weekend, one of our neighbours hosted a BBQ and invited all the families with young kids. What a great opportunity to all meet! Incredible, some of the families have live in this sub-d for 3, 4, 5, even 6 years, and some of us had never crossed paths!

How do all these things relate? Well, let's just say I'm planning a new approach (afterall, as the brilliant Albert Einstein said, "Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.")...I'll relax! The only expectation I will (TRY TO) have is that Angus have fun in any of his EC activities. I'll make it a point to get to know at least one neighbouring family well by the end of the summer. Free range, free range, free range....

Hey! I have an idea...maybe I'll organize a huge pick-up game of soccer at our place! Yes...I'll call all the parents, tell them what colour their kids' jerseys should be. Soccer cleats a must. We'll bring in some U6 game officials, regulation-sized balls, and offer only organic post-game snacks...medals and trophies, and...

Beautiful Boy...

To see you to come of age,

But I guess we'll both,

Just have to be patient,

Yes it's a long way to go,

But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,

Take my hand,

Life is just what happens to you,

While you're busy making other plans.

-Taken from "Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)" by John Lennon 

FYI: This post is going to be purely about Angus.

I had a moment yesterday. The idea that my oldest child will be starting school this September all of a sudden, seemed so...permanent. Seasoned parents have always said that time really flies, but this was my first experience with time truly slipping through my fingers. I really am lucky to be able to say that out of anyone on the planet, the person with whom I've spent the most time in the past 5 years has been my first-born. He has watched me grow into a parent, and I have watched (and hopefully helped) him grow from infant to toddler, and we're now in the midst of boyhood. What a blessing to have such a healthy, happy and very curious boy!

Another very poignant piece of advice from seasoned parents has been that parenthood (among other things) is a series of 'letting go' moments - right from day one. He is definitely ready to start school, both intellectually, and socially. I just don't know that I am. As I sit here writing this - tears streaming down my face - I can only imagine the bittersweet emotion that will follow at each upcoming milestone that I may, or may not, be a part of. So far, we've been able to share in all of his firsts...sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, swimming, running, riding a bike, reading, writing...amazing! And although I wouldn't say I'm a helicopter parent*, there has been a certain element of protectiveness over him (especially since he is our first). Come September, for the majority of the daytime hours, that will be gone. He starts to make his own friends, is responsible for his own accomplishments, and will have to solve his own conflicts. He does that at home, too, but this will just be...different.

Don't worry - this particular display of emotion is not something Angus sees. He does see me excited and eager and enthusiastic (what other "e" emotions can I come up with?) for his new adventure. This is simply (actually, it seems anything but simple to me!) another parenting rite of passage. Come September 4th (or 5th...whatever the first day of school will be), Angus and I will put our brave faces on and cross another new bridge together. And I will relish in the fact that it will still be okay to give/receive big hugs and kisses from his mum! Day two may be a different story...

Until next time, consider yourself "In the Know(les)"...

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent